Funny Stuff

Archive for the Category » «

More Colourful Conversations with Collin

During our recent trip back in Sitiawan during the CNY break, Caitlynn and I were playing and making quite some noise..

Papa: Children! It’s late already….please don’t make so much noise.

Ah Por: Yeah. Silence is golden.

Me: Huh? Silence is golden?! What is that?

Papa: It’s just a saying…silence is golden.

Me: No la…silence is not golden.

Papa: Then, what is silence, Collin ?

Me: Silence is SHHHhhhhhhh…

——————-

Ah Por: Collin, what do you like to play at home?

Me: I like to play lego block, doodle board, masak-masak…

Ah Por: Orh! What food do you cook when you play masak-masak?

Me: Chicken, Soup, Fish…

Ah Por: Wah…next time Ah Por come to KL, Collin can cook for Ah Por, right?

Me: Huh?

Ah Por: Maybe Collin can cook Assam Fish for Ah Por to eat?

Me: No lah…..my fish is not real food lah. Toy only…

Ah Por: ?!

——————————-

Ah Ma: Collin, are you excited about your new little brother coming soon?

Me: Yes!

Ah Ma: When your Didi comes, Caitlynn will be promoted to Jiejie and you will be big brother to both Caitlynn and your new baby brother!

Me: Yeah!

Ah Ma: So Collin, remember you must always be a good role model to your Meimei and Didi, ok?

Me: OK. I will be good role model.

Ah Ma: You have to always take care of them OK?

Me: OK….but…

Ah Ma: But what, Collin?

Me: But then, who will take care of ME?!

Ah Ma: ?!!

—————————

After a bath, Papa started to put on a black T-Shirt with a baby Cheetah on the front.

Papa: Collin, do you know the cheetah is one of the fastest animals?

Me: Really? What about leopard?

Papa: The leopard is also part of the cat family, but it is not as fast as the cheetah.

Me: Orh….but this is only baby cheetah wor..

Papa: Yes, when it grows up it will become an adult and can run very fast lor..

Me: But how can the baby cheetah grow up wor? How?

Papa: What do you mean, Collin?

Me: The baby cheetah is on my shirt wor. How will it grow up?…

Papa: ?!!

————–

 

Auto-Conversations with Collin

I have noticed a lot my funny and colourful conversations takes place when I’m inside the car…so this is a special and exclusive ‘auto’ edition of my Colourful Conversations with Collin series…enjoy!

Me: Papa..

Papa: Yes, Collin?

Me: You know I can drive a car one..

Papa: Really?

Me: Yeah…just like you!

Papa: Haha. I think you’re still too small to drive a car, Collin.

Me: I can one!

Papa: Do you have a driving licence?

Me: Yes, I got driving licence. Just like you!

Papa: Really?

Me: Yes, Both you and me can drive because we got driving licence.

Papa: Haha…ok..

Me: Only Mei Mei cannot drive.

Papa: Why not?

Me: Mei Mei don’t have driving licence.

Papa: Oh? Then does Mei Mei have any other licence?

Me: Erm…yes. Mei Mei only got sleeping licence…

Papa: ?!!

—————

Me: Papa…

Papa: Yeah, Collin?

Me: What road is this?

Papa: This highway or road is called Besraya.

Me: What?

Papa: Besraya.

Me: What is Besraya?

Papa: It’s just the name of this road.

Me: Why?

Papa: erm….Papa is not sure. It was probably just given the name when they built the road.

Me: Orh…so the road name is Besraya..

Papa: Yup..

Me: Just like Buzz Lightyear!

Papa:?!!!

—————-

Me: Papa….why are there so many bumps on the road one?

Papa: The bumps are there to make sure people drive slower and safer.

Me: Orh…

Papa: For example, people driving too fast will have to slow down when they approach a bump lor..

Me: Ahh…then how come train tracks no bumps one?

Papa: Erm…train tracks cannot have bumps because if they do, the trains will be derailed by the bumps..meaning the trains will be thrown off the tracks..

Me: Why wor?

Papa: The train is already moving so fast already. If there was a bump, it will surely be thrown off the tracks.

Me: Orh…but we can remove the bumps from the train track what.?

Papa: That’s why there are no bumps in your train track set, right?

Me: So, cars cannot be thrown off the road?

Papa: No, unless they are moving really fast..

Me: What if the train can move on the road wor?

Papa: Err…Trains cannot move on the road, Collin.

Me: Yeah, because if they reach a bump, they can fly away! Like rocket like that!

Papa: ?!!

————-

Funny Face Friday!

A Cool Volcano

Although food is best served piping hot, most times, we would still try to cool it down a little unless we want a burnt tongue!

These are some ways to cool down your hot, hot food:

1. Blow…

2. Turn on the fan…

3. Open the windows…

4. Use hand fan, or any available book, paper…

5. Get Papa or Mama to blow…

6. Go play something or watch TV first…

7. Ice it!

8. Stir it!

9. Smell the food first, whilst waiting…

And my favourite method of all…

10. Make a food VOLCANO….

Do not believe all you see..

What people saw:

A bowl of delicious looking porridge is placed in front of me. Taking the spoon, I gently stir the porridge in an even, circular motion. And stir again. And stir again. And stir again… Once in a while, I would bring a spoonful closer to my mouth to blow the heat off. After several cycles, and when I have determined that the spoonful of porridge is of the right temperature, I gulp the spoon into my mouth, enjoying every little bit of the porridge..

What really happened:

A bowl of delicious looking porridge is placed in front of me. Taking the spoon, I gently stir the porridge in an even, circular motion. And stir again. And stir again. And stir again…

Where is the MEAT hidden in all these porridge? Sigh. Do they have to shred the chicken meat? Sigh. All this meat filteration process is sure gonna take a while…

Ahh…there’s some there. Stir. Stir. Some over there. Stir. Stir. Hmmmm…is that meat. Lemme bring it in for a closer look. Blow. Blow. Yup, meat. Yay.

OK. Gotta make sure the spoonful of porridge, er…meat, is not too hot. Blow. Blow. Great.

I gulp the spoon into my mouth, enjoying every little bit of the meat within the porridge….

Meat Located!!

Extreme Milk Drinking

Life as it is can be quite boring sometimes, right?

That’s why I will always find new ways to make normal, mundane stuff a  little more exciting! Today, I will share about how a seemingly simple activity like milk drinking can be easily modified to become an extreme sport!

Do you always associate milk drinking with flat, soft surfaces like bed, mattresses, sofa, mat, or even floor? Now, try to think out of the box…

How can one drink milk and still make it look wickedly exciting and on edge?

There are many varieties, but today I’d love to share my own version of Extreme Milk Drinking..

Step 1: Find a short bench or long chair when you can lie down for your milk drinking posture. Reason is to invent a location which is high above ground to create that high-risk intensity feel about it.

Step 2: Hold milk bottle tightly and climb onboard the higher ground position. Lie down on your back and make sure you are secured in milk drinking position

Step 3: Drink away! Yeah….!

Once you have tried this a couple of times, you may want to up the ante and increase one level higher to earn more bragging rights. One suggestion is to repeat steps 1-3 but this time, bring along another item to hold in your other hand whilst you drink your milk. So you would effectively be using just ONE HAND to drink your milk and the other hand free to play with a toy or book or something!

This level is a definitely a notch up from the default pose because with an additional item in hand, the (not so safe anymore) activity of milk drinking becomes more dangerous with less available hands to support the risky position.

Like this…

I’m currently working on the next level of Extreme Milk Drinking – Holding TWO toys in both hands and drinking without the assistance of my hands… will share with all of you when I achieve that status..:-P

How do YOU drink your milk?

More Colourful Conversations with Collin!

Papa: Wah! Collin…look at you! You are growing up so fast!

Me: Huh?

Papa: You look so big already!

Me: Yeah.

Papa: (Sigh) My little boy has grown up so fast..

Me: Yeah. I big already because yesterday I eat eggs..

Papa: You ate eggs?

Me: Yup. So that’s why I grow up soooo big and grow a lot a lot of muscle! Look!

Papa: Err…ok..

 

********************

During one of the night trips back from Uncle Gary’s house..

Me: Papa! I can see the moon!

Papa: Really? Where?

Me: There! Up in the sky! The moon!

Papa: Wow! Is it bright?

Me: Yeah. It’s round and bright!

Papa: Great!

(A few turns and junctions later..)

Me: Papa! I can see the moon again!

Papa: Yeah. Is it still in the sky?

Me: Yup! Wow!

(As we were nearing our home…)

Me: Psssst….Papa…

Papa: Yes, Collin?

Me: I can still see the moon…

Papa: Yeah, er..so?

Me: Pssst…I think the moon is following us home…

Papa: ?!!

 

**************************

Before bedtime..

Papa: OK, Collin…what’s your memory verse for this week?

Me: Memory Verse number 5?

Papa: Yup. Memory verse number 5.

Me: That one is Galatians 5 verse 22. The fruit one.

Papa: Yes?

Me: God’s Spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful-

Papa: Yes, good. Continue..

Me: …Peaceful..eh, Papa…you know what is peaceful?

Papa: What is peaceful, Collin?

Me: Peaceful means peaccccccce, which is quiet and the ‘ccccccccc’ sounds like a snake one…

Papa: ?!!

 

***********************

After a bath, Papa was wiping me dry with a towel when I stepped out from the bathroom..

Papa: There…after a bath, you need to be clean and dry, especially your hair! (wipes hair and head)

Me: Hey! Who turned off the lights?!!

 

****************************

 

 

Avengers Assemble!

Papa: Collin…do you like to be a superhero?

Me: Yes, Papa.

Papa: So, what is your superhero name?

Me: Huh?

Papa: You know, like Batman, Spiderman, Superman. They all have a special superhero name.

Me: I am just superhero Collin.

Papa: Don’t you want some special superhero name?

Me: Erm…yeah.

Papa: So, what superhero name do you like?

Me: Erm…

Papa: SuperCollin? Collinboy? 

Me: Rollerblade Boy!

Papa: Huh?

Me: In Auntie D’s house, we are all super heroes!

Papa: So, Caitlynn and Angie are also superheroes?

Me: Yeah. Caitlynn is Powerpuff Girl. Angie is Skateboard Girl and I am Rollerblade Boy. We are all superheroes!

Papa: Wow. I feel so safe already..

Me: Huh?

 

Minnie Me!

Can you spot the difference? Hee!

Image Credits

Women Self Defense Tip #17: The Step Side-kick

Moment of Execution: When you realize you are being followed or pursued…

Step 1: Look for flight of stairs. The ones with hand railings are preferred for additional stance support.

Step 2: Step up two or three rungs from the bottom. Adjust height of steps to your age. This is also a compulsory safety measure for your own good. Of course, if you are already above the age of 30, I would advise you NOT to go look for stairs with 30+ steps to perform this stance. I would recommend 5 steps as the max you should go. If not you might have been caught already..:-p

Step 3: Grip hand railing with both hands. If hand rails are not available, press palms against the side walls. If walls and railings also NOT available, take out camera….you have just climbed one really really weird and strange looking flight of stairs…

Step 4: Gently swerve to one side and stick out the leg that is furthest from the hand railings in a side-kick stance. Of course, wait till you see your assailant before kicking in that direction, OK?

Step 5: Let out loud growl, snarl, etc. to show that you mean business!

Step 6: Repeat steps 4-5 with alternating legs  until the assailant is knocked off the stairs. :-P

Step 7: If execution of Steps 1-6 faces any technical problems, please feel feel to whack assailant with umbrella. :-D

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes